The New You

I quit smoking a month and a half ago so you may congratulate me now. Things were going just fine until I started weaning off the patch. I no longer have cigarette cravings, but I'm suddenly filled with this vile anger. For the first week I couldn't pin down what the problem was -- was my relationship suddenly crumbling? was school too stressful and leading me in the wrong direction? do my parents hate me? are aliens EATING MY BRAIN AT NIGHT OMG?

No, turns out to be none of these. I have nicotine withdrawl.

It seems so misplaced, because I was excpecting it to conicide with cigarette cravings. I get the odd one, but not so much. The withdrawl is just standing on its own, masking itself in a haze of psychological symptoms. Happily I've managed to figure it out so I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but man this really, really sucks.

I have done virtually no knitting over the past two weeks because school is crazy busy and because I'm so whacked out and distracted by the chemical changes in my body that I can't concentrate. I need to start knitting a scarf or a freakin' rag, or something really repetative and meditative so I can channel this energy and calm my mind.

I did finish a pair of socks but haven't done the weaving-in of the yarn ends because that's the part I hate the most. One sock in particular had a whole lot of ends to weave in and I just can't face it.

Knitting doesn't help, and writing doesn't even help. A whole notebook full of rage and sorrow later and I haven't a single decent piece of poetry to show for it.

So I went out and got a tattoo:



It was a bit of a release. I felt incredible during the whole session. Now, a day later, I want more. I want to extend this pattern up my arm into a half-sleeve of ravens. I obviously can't afford to, but I can dream and at least be satisfied with this for now.

Which is, of course, far more creative than sitting around and eating popcorn alone.

Hue and Cry

I could start this post by whining about how busy I am and how tired it's making me, but you've heard it all before. My status hasn't changed much over the past few months.

I have been knitting, but a little more slowly. The projects I'm working on right now take intense concentration. And by intense concentration, I mean that there's actually some counting involved, and anyone who knows me knows I don't count so good. So now I find that I can't just sit down and plug away at my knitting before class or on the bus, since I have to have a big pattern out and I need fingers to count on and all that.

I'm also having trouble committing to finishing a project. I've got one pattern repetition to go on my second Dragon Scale Gauntlet, and I'm finished Nathan's first sock minus seaming the toe, yet both are sitting in a basket at the foot of my couch, alone and unloved. I'm sure there's some psychological issue which is the cause of all this yarn abandonment, but I'm too busy to look at it critically, so instead I'll ignore it and hope it resolves itself quietly and without too much fuss.

In fact, I haven't actually finished anything since my last post, nor did I take the photos of my recently-finished projects like I said I would. Well, ok, at one point a while ago I did take photos of the hat I finished, but they're dated to something absurd like the first of January -- proof that I'm behind on my to-do list. Anyways, the hat is great. It's warm. I've been wearing it these past two weeks.







I also finished (prior to my last post) the ugliest hat ever made. A girl at work bought the yarn for me and begged me to make a hat for her out of it, I'm sure in the spirit of snide and sarcastic humour. The result was an Ugly Beret of DOOM.




In non-yarn news, N and I celebrated our anniversary at Medieval Times, where we spent about a bazillion dollars on corny souvenirs and got to eat with our hands. They really out-do themselves on the cheese factor. I went in expecting the corny medieval goodness of my childhood memories, but was utterly amazed and delighted at how much campier they had managed to make it in the thirteen years since my first visit. From a historical standpoint, the whole show wasn't so bad. Well, actually, it's pretty bad, but it COULD be a lot worse, given who they've got to pander to. The whole thing caters to five-year-olds and their suburban Dads. They've got to dumb it down and sensationalize it to keep people interested. There was a lot more flash and bang this time around than there was when I was there as a kid, and I especially got a kick out of the dude walking around selling "Medieval Slushies" in flashing novelty cups. But honestly, I just think that the cheese factor actually enhances the whole experience. I'm glad the show doesn't take itself too seriously. At least, I hope it doesn't take itself too seriously. I'm sure I saw an ironic sneer on the King's face when he asked Nathan to put on his crown "lest he be mistaken for a commoner, and someone might try and order a drink!"

I spent the whole night in hysterical laughter, not at the exhibits themselves, but at the sheer absurdity of it all. And yes, a lot of my own laughter stemmed from my feeling of guilty pleasure. Swords are AWESOME. Jousting is AWESOME. And I also got to talk to the Falconer, which was also AWESOME (it's an area of academic interest for me.)



I give it five stars for entertainment value, but two stars for common sense: someone high up got the brilliant idea of selling wooden kid-sized swords at the souvenir booths right before the show. The excited but peaceful pre-show crowd was magically transformed after the show (via the power of the Medieval Slushie, I'm sure) into a screaming and hyperactive sword-weilding mob of toddlers. Stick a hundred first-graders in a small room, fuel them up with sugar, and then give them all sticks, and you'll see what I mean. All you could hear over the din was the constant thwack of plywood on five-year-old flesh and the screams of the fallen as they cried for their mommies. We stuck around just long enough to snag a photo with the falconer, and then we hied our child-free loins the hell outta there.

I also give my boyfriend five stars for the gorgeous necklace he surprised me with, and for being the most awesome guy in the world. I always thought that when you fell in love with someone that the intense rush you first feel would level off after a while, but with Nathan every day brings deeper and more intense feeling between us. I love him more than I ever thought possible. Every day I thank my lucky stars for having met him.

:)

Ok, enough of the mush. Back to the yarn. This past week I finally got off my antisocial butt and attended our Stitch 'n Bitch's yarn swap. Actually, I can't really say it was "our" Stitch 'n Bitch since I've been there maybe once over the past five months. I attended THEIR Stitch 'n Bitch yarn swap, which would be OURS if only I went frequently enough to merit a change in possessive determiners. Either way, I came out with some gorgeous new stuff, and a slightly smaller stash, and the promise that I'll be back more frequently in the future.

Eternal despairing darkness, oh woe unto thee

I didn't end up going out to all those knitting meetups I had planned this week because they were either cancelled due to illness or I backed out at the last minute due to me being a big tired and antisocial loser. Not to worry, I did a lot of solitary knitting this week and finished a hat, a bag, a heart, a Calorimetry, and 3/4 of a dragon scale gauntlet (pictures forthcoming).

This coming week I might make it out if I can dispel this crippling social paranoia that's been gnawing away at my sense of self-worth. I'm convinced the world and everyone in it hates me, and the lack of sunlight ain't helping. It's a seasonal thing, I know, because every winter my social anxiety peaks and I don't leave my apartment 'til spring for fear that something big and awkward and snarky will eat me.

In related news, I learned this week that 'til is usually written as till and the form I've been using is archaic, albeit still accepted in England, or so my research tells me. So I feel like a giant ass for writing it thus for the past twenty-six or so years.

I learned as well that it's a Calorimetry, not a Caliometry as I've been calling it.

I have three English dictionaries in my house, one Anglo-Saxon dictionary, three Latin dictionaries, one Irish dictionary, two French dictionaries, one German dictionary, and two Japanese phrasebooks, and I'm dyslexic in every single one of those languages.

I'm also dyslexic when it comes to reading knitting patterns, but we already know that.

Anyways, yeah, that's been my week -- hermiting and knitting alone and feeling pathetic, and then feeling embarassed about feeling pathetic, and making my boyfriend go out and buy milk for me, and generally questioning my existence. I think next week I'll feel better because they're calling for more snow, and I've promised to go in for a B12 and an Iron shot. Oh, and it's our anniversary. And yes, I knitted him something for it.

OMG WHEE!

I'm actually coming out to knitting meetups this week! I'm determined to get some social knitting in before I'm sucked back into the black hole of schoolwork. Yay!

Thanks, babe!

One of the awesome Xmas gifts I got from my sweetie was a big-ass gift card for the Eaton Centre. He got it for me because I've been spending all my money on bills and rent and food and tuition and I never get a chance to treat myself to any nice clothes. Whee! So I went out and did a bit 'o shoppin' today and besides getting myself some beautiful (and low-cut) thingies to wear, I also indulged in two awesome-tastic knitting books!

The first is Never Knit Your Man A Sweater (Unless You've Got The Ring)
A book filled with gifts to knit for boyfriends. How sweet! They range in intricacy from coasters ("first-date") up to a gorgeous and complicated aran cardigan (years down the road.) I bought it because it's hard to find awesome man-patterns and this one has a few awesome sock patterns plus some great gloves and scarves. Hurray! Man-patterns galore!

The second is Domiknitrix: Whip Your Knitting Into Shape which pretty much lives up to its title. It's full of awesome patterns plus some more advanced techniques I haven't yet learned (and which aren't covered in any of the beginner's knitting books I already own.) I'm especially thrilled with the Valentine Candy Pillows!

I think I'll make a Romni run tomorrow before work and pick up some goodies to start a few projects. I've already got a couple of pages bookmarked :)

Cheap Date

I need to get Nathan over here ASAP so I can do a little naked measuring. I need to measure his naked chest, his naked arms, his naked waist. Why? Well, a few months ago in a fit of seasonal spending I discovered that the Lewiscraft in the Manulife Centre is still open, and all their yarn is now a wallet-tiddling SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT OFF. I found a bin overflowing Bernat "Who-Cares!"* which all happened to be from the same dye lot. While Nathan was feigning interest in an aisle of acrylic paints, I reached into my bag and pull out a measuring tape and frantically wrapped it around his chest, and then began stuffing balls of wool into his arms.

"Do they have it in solid black?" he asks, looking suspiciously at the grey-and-white yarn I've accosted him with.

"No."

At $20 for an entire sweater, he'll take whatever colour I damn well give him.

Now, the reason I need him to come over for some naked measuring is that the only measurements I took from him happened to be on the coldest day of 2006, back in the beginning of December, and so he was wearing about eight layers of sweaters when I wrapped my tape around him. That day, as we picked out the yarn together (and I hesitate to use the word "together" only because, well, I did most of the picking, he just nodded in a sort of stunned and unsure way"), he said he needed a nice thick sweater to get him through the cold winter. Since then, however, we've had nothing but warm, wet, and frustratingly unseasonable weather. So I'm hoping that the sooner I can get him naked, the sooner I can start on this sweater, which means the sooner that cold weather will come so that he can actually wear it.

That, and it's a good excuse just to get naked.

*I call it "Who-Cares" because, seriously, at less than $2 a ball, who the hell cares what it's made of?!? I sure don't!

Christmas and other happenings

It's been a busy month. Remember way back when I said I'd be writing midterms soon? That was over a month ago and it feels like I spent every moment of it cramming under pressure. Exams are horrible things that make your stomach upset and suck the joy out of life. As a result, I've hardly left my house in a month except to buy Smartfood or check the mail.

I've been on vacation for a week now although it hardly feels like it since I haven't had a single day to just veg out. Next week, however, is all about the couch.

So anyways, on to the knitting. I did indeed finish all my Christmas projects on time and even threw in a bonus Caliometry for my Mom, made out of the Manos del Uruguay I bought back in May. I'm glad that yarn has finally found a good home.

I also finished the Harry Potter Scarf of Doom just in time, and it was a great success.


Nathan's Knucks came together in the nick of time as well. As soon as he opened them he put them on and hasn't taken them off since, not even for me to do the embroidery on the knuckles. He also got a very special John A. Macdonald action figure which he is thoroughly thrilled with.


That's about all I have to say at this point. I'm tired and I'd like to go eat something other than turkey. Maybe have a lie-down.